My people finally discovered that I am not really a dog, nor a human, but a mufu. A mufu is a specie of its own, related to canines, but with the added softness, sweetness and cuteness of a muffin (hence the name mufu) and an amazing capacity to delight humans with its ridiculousness. A mufu, for example, takes over its humans’ bed, pillow and blanket, during the night; tries to empty school children’s lunchboxes during morning encounters; or fartsies non-stop over three-hour rides in a small car. The mufu also has unrealistically soft fur, presumably to trick bunnies with its appearance; is always available for kisses, even when awoken from deepest sleep; and is always always hungry.